Woodland Creatures
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I've been smoking since I was 16.
When I turned 17, my friends surprised me in the park with cupcakes, and we used a cigarette as a candle.
That's how I know how long I’ve been smoking.
Writing this is taboo. Just saying it makes it feel like I am the one bringing it to truth.
The odd truth of life is that we will all die, and more and more that is because of cancer. A terrible, scary thing that is.
It feels like it's waiting at the end of the line, and every day we find out some reason that you’re gonna get it.
I miss the days when it used to just be smoking. But now it seems we find carcinogens in everything. I guess a byproduct of modern life and our need to make everything into a large-scale automated process in order to maximize production and profit margins.
It makes me feel better about smoking, though, knowing that when I have cancer, everyone will too. And that when I get it, sure, you could tell me it was because I was a smoker, but it could also be from eating sandwiches or not wearing sunscreen.
And when I think about those three things, despite their danger, they make my life all that much better. To the point when it happens I may have to laugh at my prior indulgences and take it to the face. Making my time til that point all the more merry will hopefully be worth it.
Thankfully, I smoke American spirits, famously only water and tobacco, so when I die of cancer ill be sure it was from the ham I had.
Another hopeful thought I have is all the adults I’ve known who’ve smoked their whole life and made it to their senior years. Sometimes, while I know it's a statistical issue, I feel it's just as likely that I get hit by a car or domed down in the street, and while being fatal to me would also effectively completely cancel out and almost reverse the negative effects of the cigarettes I’ve smoked. I'll be dead, so they can not kill me.